All Episodes

It's the series two finale in which I pull together the threads of what may have appeared to be unrelated topics, but actually weren't. It's also a sneak peek into what's coming for series three.

At some point in the middle years, most British men acquire a paunch. We call it a beer belly, even though many men don't even drink.
Men don't decide on a paunch or agree to it.  It simply arrives, gets bigger and refuses to budge.
Today I want to talk about where it comes from, what it's actually doing,  and —  without any dramatic overhaul required —  what genuinely helps.

It's one of the most common feelings - am I in the right job? So what's preventing you from making the jump? I'm looking at the pros and cons along with something we call the sunk cost fallacy.

Let’s say you’re doing something completely ordinary. Making a coffee, perhaps. And suddenly it hits you just how quiet the house is. Only this time, the quiet feels different. It isn't just that everyone's out. It has a permanence to it.
Upstairs, the bedroom your son or daughter used to occupy is still there. The door is closed. And for how long... You don't really know.
This episode is about that quiet. About the so-called empty nest. And about what happens when the busyness of parenting gives way to silence—and everything that silence can bring.

You're in your 40s or 50s or older. You've just become a father, or you're well on your way to it.
You're doing all this at an age when most of your colleagues are becoming grandparents. Is this a big mistake?
Actually, no. There are clear advantages to becoming an older father, but only if you know how to embrace them.

In this episode, I'm talking about sex and intimacy in long-term relationships. My approach will be the same as I try to approach everything on this podcast, which is, honestly, without false reassurance, and without the alarming tone that some accounts of this subject seem to feel is appropriate.

Today’s topic is death. Not in a gloomy or morbid sense—if that distinction makes any sense—but because there’s something genuinely fascinating about it. In my experience, the men who have seriously confronted the reality of their own mortality, who have sat with that question and examined it honestly, tend to live differently from those who haven’t. More often than not, that difference is for the better. And that’s what I’d like to explore today.

The brain surgeon who goes straight to his workshop after a day rummaging inside someone's skull. The train driver who comes home and continues building his model railway. The man who buys a clapped-out Vespa scooter with the single-minded objective of getting it back on the road. What have they got in common? And why do they have a psychological edge over the men who don't?

Although this episode is directed towards late-onset epilepsy in men, something I deal with daily, the content could just as easily apply to any sudden life-changing event that comes out of the blue later in life.
 

Some wake up to the sound of an alarm clock, immediately check their emails, and spend the day worrying about cholesterol, stress levels, and whether they're getting enough exercise. And then some own a dog.
Whether you like it or not, a dog doesn't care about your inbox. A dog doesn't care about your deadlines. A dog has one mission: to drag you out of the house, get you moving, introduce you to strangers, and remind you that life is supposed to be enjoyed.
But here's the surprising thing. All that tail-wagging enthusiasm isn't just good for the soul—it turns out it's remarkably good for the body and the mind as well. Many people have spent years studying the effects of dog ownership, and what they've discovered is fascinating.
So in this episode, I'll be exploring how our four-legged companions can improve physical health, reduce stress, combat loneliness, and perhaps even help us live longer. In other words, we'll examine why the humble dog may be one of the most effective lifestyle upgrades ever invented.

There are some people who can talk endlessly about their feelings. 
And then there are the rest of us.
You know the type. Ask them how they're feeling, and they'll stare into the middle distance for a moment before replying, 'Hungry.'
Which brings us to today's subject: alexithymia. It's something that's not a disease, a personality flaw, or a Greek island. It is, however, surprisingly common. So today we're going to find out what it is, why it happens, and whether half the blokes in Britain have been accidentally diagnosed with it by their wives already."

Testosterone is the explanation of choice for a remarkable range of male behaviours, including wars, risk-taking, the gender pay gap, questionable haircuts and overpowered cars.
It has also become the explanation of choice for a remarkable range of male symptoms in midlife —  like fatigue, low mood,  reduced drive —  and an entire industry has grown up around these explanations with considerable commercial enthusiasm.
Time to explode some myths!

Your brain is one of the most sophisticated pieces of equipment in the known universe. It is also, when it comes to interpreting your own life, regularly and systematically wrong. Why are men so prone to misinterpreting things? This podcast will shed some light on the processes involved.

This episode is the series one finale. So far, there have been thirteen episodes.  Thirteen conversations about what it means to be a man in the second half of life. I’ve touched on Depression.  Loneliness.  Sleep.  Grief.  Alcohol.  Shame.  The body.  The mind.  Relationships and Work.  But as this is the last episode of series one.  And I want to use it a little differently.

The work of addressing shame is not about becoming someone different.
It’s the work of becoming more accurate about yourself, what you are
responsible for, and about the distance between the performance of
invulnerability and the reality of just being a person.